Help! I Am Addicted To My Vibrator, Would This Be A Problem In My Marriage?

Hello everyone, This is the second edition of our new column, which seeks to demystify the issue of sex being a taboo subject among us Nigerian and Africans.

This column will feature regular sex tips and sex advice for women from our resident expert, Iheoma Obibi of Intimate Pleasures.

 

Dear tw Magazine: I’m going to be getting married next year and I’ve been told to stop using a vibrator during masturbation. I’m worried that I have become overly independent on it and it will be harder for me to orgasm during sex with my husband-to-be. Is this true? And is there any guidance or suggestions about breaking up the routine of vibrator use during masturbation? — Ijeoma, 30

Dear Ijeoma: What an honest question in the scheme of denials I get about nobody using vibrators in Nigeria! From your question, I assume that you may have decided not to be intimate with your husband-to-be and therefore using vibrators was one way of keeping chaste in the light of possible temptations with said husband-to-be. I can add, that I am not of the opinion that vibrators are addictive however, if you are worried about the frequency with which you are using your vibrators, I would suggest you reduce the number of times you use them per week. Say for example, from 3 days a week to once a week as you near the wedding till alternate weeks and eventually till you no longer require them. There is also a need during this time to revert back to using your fingers in a circular motion so you don’t go crazy with lust. However, I can suggest that toys can be brought back into the bedroom as part of the foreplay for you both to engage in but you both have to agree on it. Remember, it is far more effective to communicate your sexual needs and desires and have these fulfilled by your new husband.

– Iheoma Obibi